The Call Knows Your Phone Number.

Got two phone calls that pissed me off yesterday. And then one that killed my bad mood, or at least K.O.'ed it.

Phone Call #1 (Private Caller)

G: Hello, who's speaking?

???: Is this Ms. Sullivan?

G: This is she.

???: What?

G: Yes, it is.

???: We seem to have detected a virus in your computer-

G: I have Antivirus.

???: Yes, that is why I am calling you, I need to give you instructions to fix your computer.

G: Are you from the software developer?

???: Yes. First, we need your password so we can remotely fix the problem.

G: Ohhh, so you guys are from AVG? Hold on, I'll get my book of passwords.

???: (relieved) Yes, now-

G: (hostile) I use Symantec. You do realise that there was an article about this scam in the newspaper a week or so ago? You can only hit a couple of people before word starts to get around.

???: I-

G: Find a new way to scam people, honey.

(I hang up here)

Goddamn telephone scams. If anyone gets called by a supposed tech support centre yattering about detecting  a virus, hang up.

Phone Call #2: Unknown number. It's a Vodafone number and I'm on 2degrees, so it's probably costing them a fortune, which is a good thought.

???: Come outside.

G: Excuse me?

???: Come outside.

G: Why?

???: Come.

G: Where?

???: Places.

G: Who are you?

???: A servant of the Master.

G: Who the bloody fuck is the Master?

???: (pause) Who are you?

G: Pardon?

???: Who are you?

G: This is not a game of who-the-fuck-am-I!

???: ...

G:  I'm Vivi, bitch.

???: (pause) Come outside.

G: Piss off.

???: Co- (phone cuts off. Hope he ran out of credit.)

Fucking proxies. I did go outside shortly after. No proxies. Someone trying to spook me. Weird that they didn't know my name though. "Who are you?" indeed.

Phone Call #3: Chester

C: Vivinator

G: Chestertron. What's malfunctioning this time?

C: My nose is stuffed up but nothing else. I was just checking in, seeing if you were okay.

G: Who are you and what have you done with Chess?

C: I read the blogs. There seems to be some freaky stuff going down, so I thought I'd check in.

G: Well, uh, I'm fine. I had a stomach bug earlier but it's gone now.

C: Good. Look, is there anything you want for Christmas?

G: Excuse me?

C: You heard me.

G: You're running, you crazy boy, you don't have time to go christmas shopping!

C: The Solstice is on the 22nd, and I'm going to be optimistic and hope that It'll get sent into long-term dormancy or something. Three days is enough.

G: ...Just curbstomp some proxies for me, okay?

C: Okay.

G: Attaboy. Actually, I'll do that myself. You just stay alive.

C: I'll try.

(he hangs up)

Trust Chester. He's on the run from a Noodle Person like something straight out of Amigara Fault, only more hostile and with a small army of crazies, and he's thinking about Christmas presents. It says something about Chess that I'm not sure if he's pulling my leg.