Monday, March 21, 2011


Stella here. This is...well, I'll keep this blog up. I don't think Vivi and Chester would have wanted me to shut it down. So here it will remain. The story of two university students from New Zealand that came across some weird shit on the internet. You got them together, you did, you helped them through this and I know they're thankful.

This account will remain open, although I have changed the password. I'll be around. I might comment occasionally, perhaps. I'll still run Stella, Searching. I'll be sure to let you know how Vivi and Chester are doing every so often, and if anyone has any questions as to their wellbeing or whatever, you can ask me using the "Talk To Me" link sitting around there somewhere.

I went into their work today. For lunch, since it's near my new workplace. They're fine. They're happy. Happier than I'd ever seen them before, in the short time I'd known them.

Their memory of me has changed. I was a friend of Vivi's in primary school who moved away and has only recently moved back. I wonder what else has changed. Who they remember, and how different what they remember is from the reality.

"Exilis Veritas". Vivi told me, a few days before H made his debut, she named the blog that because when she started all she wanted was to find out the honest truth about what He That Is was, but now it's a much bigger thing than just He That Is.

"Slender Truth".

Only a small amount of this blog is the true, unbiased, objective truth. Because this is almost a love story. Familial, platonic, romantic, simple, complex, in all it's fucked up glory. The only thing that ever motivated Vivi and Chester was love. Love for each other, for their friends and family, for their ideals, for you guys. And the whole nature of love is that it can't be rational or objective.

I sound so fucking wishy-washy. This sounded better in my head, I swear. I'm really not very good at all this emotional stuff. I'm just not used to it. I probably sound like the biggest fucking idiot since who knows when, but it's the truth. Veritas.

I received a note this morning. I've copied it all out as accurately as I can but any mistakes are excusable since that was a lot of ones and zeros.


--Two Face

Fuck you, Two Face, I don't know binary (can somebody who does translate it please?). But I know you follow the blogs. Go read what Reach has said. the deal was that you became a monster to protect your family. You're not a monster, you're human and you've never been anything different. The deal's gone, now, and you're free. You can go back to them now.

I guess this is what you could call a happy ending.

It's what they would have wanted.


Last Goodbyes

Don't mind me, I'm just passing on their message to you. I've done what I came to do.

This is their last goodbye.

"It's been decided."

"Has it now? What were the choices, anyway?"

"You never told us what you were making them choose from. You said there was another option, besides Vivi or I dying."

"Yes. The other option was for you both to be mind-wiped. To wake up tomorrow morning with no memory of He That Is. To be free."

"And what did they decide?"

"They chose the kindest thing. For you to forget. Your lives will go on as they always should have. Nothing ever went wrong."

"So Chester and I... we'll forget everything?"

"For the things which you cannot forget there will be new explanations for. For example, you will remember you two getting together before the Solstice differently, Stella will be a friend returned from overseas or something along those lines. I am nothing if not thorough."

"I see. So you're going to do that to us, then?"

"Is there anything you wish for me to pass on?"


"Vivi? You go first."

"Yeah...there's a lot of things. Tell them that we love them, all of them, even the Indoctrinated, because when all is said and done they're human, and the fundamental right of all sentient beings is to love and to be loved. Tell them no matter how thoroughly H wipes our minds, in our hearts we will always remember you and what you have done for us."

"I admit I'm not exactly happy about this...I'd happily die so Vivi can go on, but she'd do the same just as easily, and neither of us is willing to let the other walk calmly to their death while we can prevent I guess this is the best thing. Keep fighting, guys. Keep supporting each other, because the only reason Vivi and I have made it this far is because you have been there for us."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. helped us believe. We would never have made it this far without you, but..."

"Now, I guess, it's time to say goodbye."

"Yeah. Take care of yourself, everybody."

I think you all would like to know that they never once let go of each others hand, even when I tranquillised them. They woke up this morning with the sun rising from the east, the ground below them and the sky above, hand in hand, with everything as it should be. 

Sunday, March 20, 2011


I'm glad you have chosen to let them go. I've tidied up their internet history, removed a few things from their house, etc etc etc...Then I'll go and wipe them. If they want to say anything to you guys before they go, I'll forward it on to you.

I did tell you I am not an unkind man.

Tomorrow, they'll wake up and be Vivi and Chester, two ordinary young adults living together in Auckland, New Zealand. They attend university, in their last year, and both work at a restaurant. They both come from good families and have good friends. They'll be okay.

I'll go back to being cleanup crew, making people forget before they get too strong and they have to die.

Everything will be as it's ought to be.

Decisions, Decisions.

Let's cut to the chase. I'm H. I have Genevieve Sullivan and Chester Matenga-White, along with orders to remove them from the equation through whatever means I can. So I'm giving you a choice.

If you want to, you can have them back. But you can have only one. You can have Vivi, or Chester, but not both. The other one will die. I'll make it painless, I assure you. As I said before, I am not an unkind man. Chester being my flesh and blood means very little to me, but I do not enjoy playing with my prey.

That's not the only choice you have. You can let them go. I can remove any and all evidence of Slender Man ever having existed from their memories. I can remove all pages pertaining to Slender man from their internet histories, remove all possible triggers from their immediate area. They'll be free. Memory wipes aren't perfect, but we do our best.

I'm offering you three choices. Each has it's upsides and downsides. Cast your vote.

"GENEVIEVE LIVES" if you wish for Genevieve, and Genevieve only, to survive.

"CHESTER LIVES" if you wish Chester, and Chester only, to survive.

"CLOSE THEIR EYES" if you wish for them to both be mindwiped.

The first one to reach a certain number, which I will not tell you, will be carried out as soon as possible.

Their fate is yours to decide.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

he's in the house

Mask guy.

He's in the fucking house, I saw him in the living room.

We're one step ahead of him but I'm not sure how long that's going to last...we can't leave. Slendy is blocking all entrances and exits, including new ones. Stella, I promise we will fix the hole in the wall in your room.

I know who he is, too. And that just makes it so much worse. I have a loaded gun in my hand but I'm not sure if I can use it. Chester does not have a monopoly on uncertainty.

Try to believe. I have to try.


Friday, March 18, 2011

The Man in the Mask

I think I've found out who Mystery Caller is. There's this guy just chilling outside the house. Near the letterbox. He's wearing a mask. One half is white, with a single hole for the eye, the other is black with a white question mask stretching from about where his eyebrow would be to his jaw.

He's just looking at us. From my estimation, he's a bit shorter and more heavyset that I am, dark skin, what I can see of his hair is brown. Hoodie, jeans, trainers. Fairly nondescript apart from the mask. I don't know if he plans on trying anything, but I could probably take him if he does. I don't know. Bloody proxies.

I...actually don't want to fight any of them. I know I've taken my fair share of levels in badass, but I've hated every second of every fight I have been in. Proxy or not, they're human and it's against everything I've ever been taught to hurt another human being unless I absolutely have to. If it weren't for the possibility of Vivi getting hurt...

Why does Slendy always appear outside during my darkest moments? The times when I dislike myself and the situation Vivi and I are in the most? Whenever I feel like giving up?

Fuck you, Slendy. Just...fuck you. I have enough reason not to give up in this room with me. We're the only active fighters in New Zealand as far as we know. Vivi is strong, but she's not strong enough to face off with every proxy in New Zealand without help. Next to useless I may be, but she does need me.

Everybody stay safe. Keep yourselves, and each other, safe. Please.


Thursday, March 17, 2011

What's going on...?

We managed to capture the proxy following us. The girl. We gave her the cure. But...she's still thrashing around and swearing at us and yelling about slendy saving us all and it's been nearly a day. going on? Is the cure not working? is it just taking a while to kick in? What do we do? Crap!

Crap crap crap crap...

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Everything is fine around here. We have somebody tailing us, but we can solve that problem without too much trouble unless this kid is actually Chuck Norris in drag. I've never been able to get used to Slendy using kids.  This girl, she can't be older than 15 or 16. She should be in school, learning stuff, with her friends, doing normal teenage girl stuff. Fucking Slendy.

Stella unfortunately did not get the job she applied for but she has a couple of other places with spots open she could work at. Wish her luck, guys.

Also, I keep seeing Two Face and Frank around. They haven't come into work, but I have seen them on the street and things. I'm a little worried, to be honest. Two Face is a good person, but she's still on Slendy's side and to coax her into a Heel Face Turn would mean she had to abandon something important to her- her family. We need as few enemies as possible, but to have Two Face on our side or at least not an enemy we would be putting three innocent, uninvolved people in danger.

...I keep getting these weird calls. The number is private. Usually I just get distortion, but sometimes I get somebody who actually speaks. It's a guy, around the same age as Chester and I. He's...not usually coherent. For example:

V: Vivi. Who speaks?

?: You watch the world burn, knowing all you love is lost

V: Oh no, not you again

?: you offer a hand but you can't hold on for long

V: Are you reading me your poetry, dude? I'm pretty sure there's a website you can publish that stuff on...

?: you can try and you can try but you can't save everyone

V: What on earth...

?: time is running out and your trump card is gone

*he hangs up*

That was the most coherent he has ever been ever. And I admit I can understand what he's getting at, except for the last line. What trump card is he going on about? What the hell?

We're going to have to be more careful from now on. Mystery Guy may be bluffing but it's not advisable to count on it. We're not that stupid.

Everybody stay safe.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Quid Pro Quo

Hi guys. Vivi here. Sane again. Mostly.

Slendy's been chilling outside, but otherwise nothing really notable. I had classes this morning, I'm at work now, life as normal. Well, as normal as my life gets. Massive freak out one day, next I'm tired but AOK, day after that it's business as usual. Yay for living a double life. On the one hand, I'm Genevieve Sullivan, a normal young woman in almost every respect, and on the other I'm helping fight a war.

Chester is...well, he feels really bad about what happened over the weekend. He was stupid, yes, but everybody is stupid, and anyway, he's here now and here is where he's staying. Chester and I, we stick together. Always.

To clarify, I met Chester on the first day of school, Year Eleven, but I didn't get to know him until April, nearing the end of the first school term. I was in the library, looking for a book for my Science project, and the book I wanted had apparently been misfiled since although the computer said it was there, it wasn't in the place it said it was supposed to be, so I went and asked one of the librarians and they didn't know either. Then I felt somebody tap on my shoulder and found this lanky, awkward looking Maori guy I recognised from a couple of my classes standing there, holding out the book I was looking for.

"I was just about to put it back on the shelf, since I've finished my project, so you can have it." he said.

I gave him a blank look. "You've finished that project already? It's really hard- how did you manage that?'

He just blinked at me and went "It's easy, actually. D'you want some help?"

"...Sure, but I need to get my lunch off my friend Kathy..."

And that was kind of it. He helped me with my Science work (it was meant to be just the project, but it kinda snowballed) at lunchtimes, at first in the library and then outside sitting with my friends. He wasn't too happy about that at first, but I told him that you didn't get good with people if you didn't practice.

I don't know. We just got each other, Chester and I. I was there when he found out his grandfather died. He was there when the Boxing Day Tsunami hit where my Dad was working at the time and we waited a fortnight before we found out he was alive and well. I was there when he got the award for best-performing student in Biology in Year 12. He was there when I landed a fairly major role in a school production. Through thick and thin we supported each other.

He knows me better than anyone else ever has and ever will, and I like to think I know him the same way.

No matter what stupid things Chester does, I'll always be there to get him up off the ground. Even if I do it by accident. (i.e. having a massive BSOD, then getting attacked by SlenderHERP) And when I fall, he'll be there to remind me Vivi doesn't sit down and take a beating, Vivi gets back up and gives the person who got her down a piece of her mind. Or a punch in the face. We'll back each other up.


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Divide and Conquer

Or: How I, Chester Matenga-White, managed to fuck up everything.

Okay, so I panicked, typed up that one post (you know the one) and then literally caught the first bus out of town and rode it until I got hungry, at which point I stopped at a shitty cafe and ate shitty food and slept on the roof. Then I caught another bus all the way down to Taupo, where I ran into a bit of trouble with a few proxies. There were six of them, so I led them all the way around the freaking city in an attempt to shake them off (didn't work) so I ducked into an internet cafe, got myself something to eat, and then wrestled with the idea of checking this blog. Then I saw the post. 11:11.

I logged off, got out of the chair, and got up to Auckland as fast as I possibly could. Those were possibly the most excruciating hours of my life. I called Vivi over and over and over again and it always went straight to answerphone.

When I got to the house is was empty and for a moment I was afraid it was too late before I remembered about Stella's perception-screw abilties and yelled, as loudly as I could. "HEY, LADIES! HOWS A GUY TO HELP YOU OUT IF HE CANT SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?"

There was a pause, then the world shifted. The scene was much the same except for two unconscious proxies lying on the front lawn and another nearby, having some kind of seizure. And, uh, Slendy. He turned to face me and...suddenly there were tentacles fucking everywhere. Like fucked up wings or something. I picked up my barbed-wire cricket bat (which was lying on the ground a couple of metres away- I later found out Vivi had been using it and had accidentally thrown it. She's so helpful.) and took a few steps back from Him.

he just kinda stood there for what felt like ages. Then he screamed. For a given definition of "scream"

fuck, I will never forget that noise or whatever it was. It wasn't actually noise, but I heard it. Inside my head or some shit. I fell unconscious, and pretty much the first thing I did when I woke up was throw up Slendergoop. lots of it. I burnt it because that's not exactly the sort of stuff you leave lying around to it's own devices.

Slendy was gone, oddly enough.

The girls were on the roof. Apparently Slendy had initially appeared INSIDE the house, with about seven or eight proxies, so the first thing they did was get into the study, go out the skylight and climb onto the roof. And improvise weapons with kitchen knives and a length of pole that I WAS going to use to replace the rail currently on the balcony, which is very rusty.

I swear, despite the situation, there was nothing more reassuring than meeting Vivi's eyes and knowing she's here, that I can protect her, that she's alive.

Then she charged up to me and slapped me. Twice. And screamed at me for being an idiot and leaving because that was their PLAN, she wouldn't be any safer with me gone and dear god why did I leave?

Answer: I am stupid.

Meanwhile, Stella is bleeding from the nose from the strain of holding a perceptionscrew on most of the street. Slendy is gone and the proxies are waking up, so I told her only to mess with the people in the houses directly surrounding us and to just make it uninteresting rather than give them an entire illusion.

We waited until about 4am, but no sign of Slendy or any proxies so we went back inside. I had to treat Vivi's wounds, and then help clean up Stella (who has ruined one of the two sets of clothes she has to her name. We need to take her shopping at some point because she can't keep borrowing Vivi's clothes) and then we all just coma'd out in the living room.

Vivi's forgiven me. For leaving, I mean. She has every right not to, but after the whole slap-and-rant thing she just smiled in that odd little way of hers, flicked a bit of hair out of her eyes and said "Welcome home, Chess." like I hadn't just abandoned her.

God, I'm going to hate myself for that for the rest of my life.

Vivi would have typed parts of this post up, but her right hand has been all bandaged up and it's a pain to type one-handed, so she's sitting curled up against my side, watching me type. She hit me for the bit about hating myself, but it's the honest truth and I'd rather not lie.

As if I could lie to her anyway.

On a happier note: JEDI. What on earth happened between you and Stella? Our computer hates tumblr and Stella won't say, but she's being all weird. Did you say something to her?


Saturday, March 12, 2011


make a wish make a wish make a wish
i am genevieve sullivan
I wish, I wish, I wish I wish I wish
i am genevieve sullivan
I wish for the sky above, the ground below, weight = mass x gravity, this room has four walls and a ceiling and a floor
i am genevieve sullivan
my parents are my mother and father and my siblings are my brother and sister and chester chester chester chester he's here
i am genevieve sullivan

make a wish make a wish

i love you

Friday, March 11, 2011

Enough Is Enough

Chester here. I...I'm okay. I want to find the nearest proxy and interrogate them to see if they know anything, anything at all because the fact of the matter is that I have a brother. A brother that I have never even met, taken away from my family by that fucking thing. 

Okay okay I lied. I'm not okay. I want to go out and find the Slender Man and wring his skinny neck because I have had enough of this shit. I have had it up to fucking here.

Fuck...I'm scaring myself now. I...I'm getting angry all the time. I get enraged more and more easily and when i do I get more violent (punching walls and things) and I'm not usually like this and it's scary. What if I get angry with one of my friends? Or Stella? Or Vivi? god if I hurt her I couldn't live with myself. I can tell when I get angry, even though it's never, ever at her, that she's afraid of me.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck I don't know what to do. I...

Vivi, I'm sorry.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Missing Brother

We went over to Chester's parents place this afternoon, with the intention of finding out why Slendy was in half of their photos. I'm not going to post a full transcript, just a summary, because it was a really long conversation and I can't take long to write this post because the last thing an upset Chester needs is to be left to his own devices.

We asked Janine, Chester's mother, about the "guy in the suit" in the background of one of the photos and she just looked at us and went "You too?" and then burst into tears.

Okay, so turns out Chester had a brother, Harrison, six years older than him (So around 27) who was taken by Slender Man shortly before Chester was born and is now presumed dead or a proxy.

"We couldn't stop him, we begged, we pleaded, we searched everywhere for our little Harry but we never found him. He took him, and we couldn't stop him. We couldn't stop him..."

I think the shock was a bit much for Chester, because he sat there, totally impassive, while his mother and father explained, then at the words "we couldn't stop him" just broke down. Just like that.

Stella is trying to recall if any of the proxies in New Zealand look anything like Chester, and I am typing up this post and hugging Chester, who seems to find the proximity calming as he's stopped shaking and he's unclenched his fists, but he's still not talking. I think his poor circuits have overloaded a bit...he'll be alright. He's stronger than he gives himself credit for. He's at least as strong as I am.

I believe in him.


Villains Out Shopping

We ran into Two Face at the supermarket yesterday. She had a shopping cart full of food, so I assume she was stocking up to feed all the proxies at the base Vivi was held in. There's about a dozen living there, from my estimation, around three of which are Revenants. We had a conversation with her that went as follows:

T: Fancy seeing you here, Genevieve, Chester. Tenebria. 

S: Stella.

T: Stella?

S: Yeah. Don't wear it out, Kristen.

T: *bristles*

V: This is our local supermarket. Yours too I assume?

T: There's another one closer to us, but it's...

V: It's what?

T: It's in Remuera and there is a high chance of me being recognised as I used to live there.

V: I can see why you may not want that.

T: Look, I don't want this any more than you do, but we have to be enemies. For the sake of my family. If I break the deal, they're in danger and I can't have that. 

C: Look, Kristen, (she flinches) we know. You made a deal and you have to keep to it. We don't hate you for it.

T: You kids forgive easily. 

V: Yeah, we do. As far as I'm concerned, there's enough hating going around without us helping.

T: Fair enough.

S: *stomach growls loudly*

C: Stella!

S: (flustered) Uh...sorry! I'm really hungry!

V: So am I, so am I. Seeya, Two Face. Have fun feeding all those Indoctrinated. 

T: ...Har har. See you.

I guess it's nice to know there's still some good in her. Two Face, I mean. Gives me a little bit of hope for all the other Indoctrinated. I like to believe that no matter how small, there's a little bit of good in everyone. Nobody is completely evil. 

Also, to those who have noticed us switching erratically from using the embedded comment form and having a  pop-up window, we are sorry. We've been having some computer problems and sometimes the embedded form does not load so we switch to the pop-up window if we want to make a comment. Hopefully they will be resolved soon, but no promises.

In other news, Stella's doing pretty well. Several days, enough food to feed two people, and some time to think has done her wonders. She could probably pass for a normal teenage girl, now, at least until you talk to her because she's very socially awkward.

Also, remember when I got stuck in the Labyrinth? When Vivi flipped out, she mentioned something that we'd completely forgotten about until now.

"I only got out of the labyrinth SUNDAY, you sick fucks, you give us FOUR DAYS and then MORE SHIT HAPPENS. LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE. Okay, you pick on me, that's acceptable, I got myself into this shit investigating after what happened to Kaylee, I started this blog of my OWN VOLITION because I WANTED to know, to find some way to help. I knew what I was getting into. But Chester hasn't done a fucking thing. He was DRAGGED into this, none of it was his own fault. His parents...fuck, his parents are probably haunted too. He's in some of their wedding photos. Every photo of Chester from birth until puberty has IT in it. He didn't need to find Slendy, Slendy just stalked him from the start. It's only because he likes creepypasta that he rediscovered Slendy in the first place."

We need to talk to my parents and we need to do so fairly fast. We're calling in after work today to see if 
they know anything. Were they haunted, too? What happened? How? Why? What what what what what?

Augh. In other news, Conduits are springing up all over the show because it appears Daniel, Alora's mysterious note buddy, is one too. And Jean has been kidnapped. And Ava appears to have somebody inside her head who hates everyone. 

I remember a time when my life was boring...seems like a long time ago. :/


Tuesday, March 8, 2011


I just banged my head against the corner of a cupboard door. OW. It was sharp, too. I'm bleeding. Blegh. Seriously, on top of everything else going on in my life right now? 

Okay, shall I list? University has started up so I've had to shuffle my work schedule. I'm working in the mornings some days, the afternoons others, and Chester has the evening shift one day a week on top of all his coursework. Good thing he has an excellent work ethic, but it's still going to be stressful. We have to work in order to pay our bills and we need an edumacation as well. I might, however, be able to arrange to do my course by correspondence (waiting for them to get back to me on that) or find some other way to make managing this easier. If we have to, I'll drop out and restart my degree when all of this is over. 

I have a monster headache and I'm really tired. I have it good compared to some of you, I know, but at the moment I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. 

Stella's getting better. She seems to have gotten quite fond of the people she's been chatting with, here and over on tumblr, although she still has a lot of problems communicating with people from face to face and I think she's not the happiest of people even now, but she's improving. I'm glad for her.

My head hurts.

Monday, March 7, 2011


It got really cold in Auckland this morning. For summer at least it's early March and the temperature was something akin to late April. Then it warmed up again later. I matches the mood. For every victory there is another person to grieve.

R.I.P. Jeff. You were like a brother to me. You got Chester and I together, you helped me in my times of trial. You stayed under my roof, walked through these halls, stood in this kitchen and chatted with me and Cheska and Chester while we all made dinner together.

That's another bracelet to add to my wrist.

Stella is getting better. She actually introduced herself to our workmates as Stella, so I assume that's what she wants to be called now. She's never going to go back to being the Nice Girl she was once (apparently) but she's picking up the pieces, and that's the best we can ask from her at the moment. Healing takes time. But at least now you can show her some kind of compassion without her going ballistic.

She actually laughed, today. Chester tripped over Cassy and went sprawling and she laughed. Then we both looked at her like "WAIT WHAT WHOA" and she insisted she was coughing. Maybe, maybe not, Stella.

Chester has something to say on the subject of Slenderstalked couples. "There's nothing like an Eldritch Abomination stalking you to foster romance."

That may possibly be true. The threat of dying or going insane or the other person dying or going insane makes you take action. If you wait, it might be too late.

Stella also asked me "What is love?" earlier. I couldn't answer her. She was sitting there all serious, asking me "What is love?" and I just went "What are you, a robot?" and cracked up laughing.

Here's your answer, Stella.

Love is a complex, amorphous and many-legged thing. It hurts people and it heals people. It can be a force for good or evil. It can be like an earthquake and come out of nowhere and knock you off your feet or be like the movement of continents, something so gradual you barely notice it's progression. It's different for everyone, so you don't have to listen to a word I say on the matter because I've only been there once and I'm not you anyway.

I am dog tired, so I'm going to bed. Yay for half-awake rantings!


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Good News, Bad News.

[EDIT: Holyshitholyshitholyshit Slendy showed up and Tenebria had a freaking seizure. She's okay, but we're all REALLY freaked out.] The good news is that Tenebria is no longer unconscious. She's fully awake and mostly functional, although apparently touching things makes her feels like she's being sandpapered and she can't eat anything that isn't bland because it's a sensory overload.

I'm not sure if we should consider this a Heel Face Turn or not. She hasn't said anything to indicate who's side she's on. She could still be working for Where's-his-face for all we know, since she hasn't said she isn't. For now, we'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

The bad news is that this appears to have pissed off Ole Slim Jim no end. He was outside last night, in the living room window, doing that weird headtilty thing with tentacles thrashing. Scared the shit out of Vivi and I. We didn't get to sleep until midnight because we didn't want to ignore him in case he actually came into the house. Which he hasn't done yet, which is odd considering he probably can.

Odd. Oh well, count your blessings.


Saturday, March 5, 2011


We now have Tenebria coma'd out in our spare room. She took the cure and whatever it's doing to her (current status: unconscious, feverish), it took it's sweet time kicking in. And she's not behaving in the way other proxies who have been given the cure do. She hasn't thrown up at all. Apparently she got dizzy, tried to go back home and passed out on the pavement. She hasn't woken up. She could be dead, except she's breathing quite heavily and she's running a temperature.

Yeah, um, somebody suggested she take the cure so we left her a vial in the letterbox. According to her tumblr, although she did not wish to do and doesn't know what came over her, she drank it and it took about four hours for anything to go wrong.

Then she kinda passed out on the pavement and we took her here.

Yeah, um...I have an emaciated, scruffy, unconscious asian girl with the power to mess with people's heads passed out in my spare room. I hate her for what she did to Vivi (for doing what Vivi does, for reaching out to people, for being kind) but I must admit that we have to help her.



Friday, March 4, 2011

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

about what happened yesterday. On my end. Chester doesn't remember most of what happened.

I woke up at about 2pm in a blank white cell and flipped the fuck out. I screamed, banged on the walls, panicked etc for about an hour and then realised that flipping my shit wasn't gonna do me any good. Then I think I cried for about half an hour. I said that audio post that showed up on Tenebria's tumblr around that point. Towards the end, the walls just started to rush in on me and I panicked and blacked out.

When I woke up I realised that although they'd taken most of the stuff out of my jacket pockets, they hadn't taken the marker pen. So I drew all over the walls. TRY TO BELIEVE; TRYING TO BELIEVE; BELIEVING; YOU ARE NOT ALONE; There's a light at the end of the darkness and we walk towards it hand in hand; some god-awful poetry, some song lyrics I remembered, a couple of short comic strips, quotes I'd heard or read, anything to keep me distracted. I sang until my throat hurt. I sang everything I could remember. Songs from my iPod, songs I'd heard on the radio, a couple of hymns I remembered from going to church with my grandma before she passed away (I never had a faith, but I enjoyed spending the time with her) and more besides.

I think it annoyed her, because she kept asking me to stop. She cut off my hearing, made the walls close in, made me see things and I never stopped. Not ever.

I think I slept. I dreamed about colours and lights and cut out paper stars and Chester and my friends and my family and the world as it should be.

I woke up to find Tenebria sitting in a chair, just watching me with her head tilted slightly to one side. She looks even more scruffy up close- clean, yes, but her hair's tousled, like she hasn't brushed it since forever, and she's dangerously skinny and it's a subtle distinction between her normal look of utter boredom, but she seems tired.

"You smile in your sleep. Pleasant dreams?"

"For once, yes."

"Lucky you. I haven't dreamt in a long time. Not that I can remember."


"Yes. I miss it sometimes. I have heard some people find answers dreaming."

"I'm sorry. That must be...pretty bad."

She rounded on me and then everything went numb, I couldn't feel a thing, I'm not going to describe it again. It's in the previous entry to this one. felt like a loss of identity, of self. You don't realise how tactile human beings are until you lose all sensation.

I don't think she intended to make it last for as long as she did, but it took 24 hours for feeling to start to return.

I lay there, feeling sensation slowly returning, when I heard yelling and thumps and a couple of gunshots and then silence. Footsteps. Voices, just out of range of my hearing and then another gunshot.

...I was so scared that one of those gunshots might have been Chester. Trying to save me, and dying in the process.

Then there was a door. Right after the third gunshot, there was a door. I stared at it for a while, checked if it was locked (it was) and if it was indeed a door and not just part of the wall that looked like one. (as far as I would see it was)

I stared at it for what felt like years, then I think I went to sleep until the door burst open and there was Chester, covered in mud and soot and brandishing various improvised weapons. He pointed the can of mace at me and said "What did I say to you on the night of February 4th, that you've subsequently repeated back to me when Tenebria first posted in order to slap some sense into me?"

I panicked for a split second before I realised he was trying to check if it was really me, rather than Tenebria or one of her little friends masquerading as me using her abilities.

"I'm not perfect, but I'll do my damn best for you."

(We need to change our question now...)

Then we got the fuck out of there. I think Chester carried me at least part of the way. We got the the car and I looked at the warehouse I'd been in and Tenebria was standing in the doorway, grabbing onto the frame for support, one leg held slightly off the ground, staring after us.

Then we got home and passed out. We've had a little bit of proxy activity since then but nothing aggressive or confrontational. Tenebria showed up a couple of times but she didn't come beyond the fence. There's been some interesting things going on at her tumblr. Bits of backstory, her real name, blah blah people seem pretty intent on getting a Heel Face Turn out of her. Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks anyone can be redeemed. We're here for her and if she wants to open up to us she's welcome to.

I need to sleep some more...


Just woke up

from a nightmare back in my own bed, with Chester's voice in my ear, telling me it's all a dream. The numbness is just the nightmare, and when I open my eyes I can feel again. More acutely than before, perhaps. Maybe the 24-hour loss of my sense of touch makes everything seem more...there.

Try as I might, I can't be angry at Tenebria. She's a bitter, jaded bitch, but if I had been through what she has, I would be too. She's lost everything she once held dear- her home, her family, and then Lucy. Her...friend? lover? sister? She never cleared that up. I was going to ask, but I made the mistake of trying to offer a little sympathy first. She, well, blew up at me. Seriously, she rounds on me and next thing I know I'm completely and utterly numb. I can't...I could see, and I could hear, but I couldn't touch or smell or taste. I felt...detached from myself, that's the only way I could describe it. I was dimly aware of being slumped against the wall and hearing myself scream and scream and scream and that's how she feels she entire time oh god

I'm afraid to go to sleep because I know I'll dream about the numbness.

I can't be angry with her. She's been through a lot and she tried to cut herself off from it and from what I've seen it worked a little too well.

Here's some advice. Pain sucks, yes. Sometimes you feel like you can't go any further. But with the capacity to feel pain also comes the capacity to feel happy, elated even, to fall in love with a person or place or idea, to trust someone with everything, to look at your life and the way you're living it and feel content at a job worth doing that's being done well. All the cuts, scrapes, and heartbreak, all the humiliation is worth it for singing stupid love songs when you're in the house by yourself, grabbing a friend on the spur of the moment and going off to do something fun, dancing like nobody's watching even when everyone is, that feeling of accomplishment when you've done something worthwhile.

Also, life is not written in stone. There's no such thing as fate, or destiny. It's a bunch of random events that just happen. I don't believe in fate, or destiny, or a God. Things just happen. Sometimes bad, sometimes good, and they set off whole chain reactions of events that only happened because you were in the right place at the right time. That's what's wonderful about it. There's no meaning to life. You can impose your own meaning, and live life according to it.

Oh my god, this post sounds utterly sane even though I'm anything but. Thank god for the backspace key. And Chester. I...I almost thought he might not be able to do it, but he did, somehow. Literally, he just burst in brandishing a cricket bat covered in barbed wire in one hand and a can of mace in the other, spattered in blood and looking like someone had put him in a tumble drier. It was possibly the most surprised I have ever been in my life.

BLUGH it's 4am and I think I've calmed down (fucking nightmares) enough to sleep and Chester's shoulder looks reallyreallyreally comfy and ugh I'm going to go make up for the 48 hours + I went without sleep.


Thursday, March 3, 2011


make me.

vivi, i'm coming for you

no matter what it takes

try to believe

i'll find you.

i promise.

so if tenebria ever told you I would leave you

you can call her out for not telling the truth.

i love you.

See you...

...whenever I next see you.

By the time this message comes through on the queue, I will already be at Tenebria's base. I've got one of the two Glock 17s Jeff managed to procure us, a cricket bat wrapped in barbed wire, a can of mace, and as a last resort against Revenants, a water pistol full of eucalyptus oil, diluted slightly with water.

if I come back, it's either with Vivi or in a coffin. If worst comes to worst, I want to be able to say goodbye, see her smile in that odd little way one more time.

Chester, out.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


I know where she is now. It wasn't easy but I managed to get the information out of the proxy I captured yesterday.

I knocked him out with a baseball bat, dragged him inside and tied him to a chair. I put disinfectant on his scratches- a) because I'm a nice person and b) that shit stings like a bitch. While I was in the middle of dabbing some of the stuff on a scrape on his knee he woke up and started panicking and thrashing around and stuff.

I didn't want to torture the information out of him, but I had to give him a bit of an incentive to talk. Nothing major. Vivi wouldn't want me to become a monster to save her.

Transcript as follows:

?: What- where am I? What the FUCK are you doing! Get...get me out of here, I *starts thrashing around*

C: Don't struggle like that, you'll tip the chair over.

?: stings! What have you done to me?

C: I'll answer your question if you answer a few of mine.

?: And what might those be?

C: Do you know the location of Genevieve Sullivan? Pretty redheaded girl, kidnapped by your lot a couple of days ago?

?: Oh, her. Why d'ya want t' know? You her stalker or somethin'?

(I take a pinch of chilli powder out of the packet in my hand (label removed) and flick it in his eyes at this point)

C: She's my girlfriend. I'm the one asking the questions here. Where is she?

?: I dunna where yer whore is. Prob'ly dead.

(more chilli powder)

C: Oy. She's a lady, you talk about her with respect. You know of her, you should know where she is. Even if she is dead, give me a location so I can recover her body.

?: [DATA EXPUNGED] <--I felt defiled just hearing what he said. I'm not going to repeat it.

(I spray him in the face with pepper spray)

C: You're disgusting. Wash your mouth out with soap at the next opportunity. Now answer my question.

?: Fine. I don't the fuck know. I was told to help knock her out and then go off and do my own thing. I just do grunt work, they leave the big stuff to the Revenants. I dunno which base they took her to.

C: But you know where they are?

?: Not all of em but some.

C: ...Hm. Does the name "Tenebria" sound familiar to you?

?: *grins* Ooooh, I know her.

C: Does that narrow things down for you a bit.

?: Maybe. Why should I tell ya?

C: (raises can of mace to face height)

?: Oh jesus not that stuff again *struggles*

C: Answer my question, then I'll stop flinging this stuff at you.


C: Are you sure? If you've set me up there'll be hell to pay.

?: I don't doubt it...

C: Alright...fine. Drink this though, you'll feel better.

?: What the fuck is that, is that blood-

*transcript end*

I got hardly any sleep last night because ? kept throwing up. Eventually I got so sick of babysitting him that I untied him and told him that if I ever saw him around these parts again I wouldn't be so merciful, gave him a cigarette lighter and a bucket and told him to burn what he throws up. He hightailed it out of there before I could even wish him luck.

I'm not going to tell you guys when I'm going to go get Vivi. I have a post queued to come through an hour after I leave, which should be about 15 minutes after I arrive there. I don't want them prepared for me.

I'm at work right now. Everyone seems so peaceful, so oblivious to the things that are going on around us, that an Eldritch Abomination has its claws (er, tentacles) dug into our lives, driving people insane, killing them while the clock keeps ticking and the rest of the world keeps on living.

I'm trying to believe, Vivi.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


seems like we have someone poking around outside, hm?

Well, mister, if you're going to be being a nosy parker and trying to find out things about me, I'm going to need to extract a toll. Equivalent exchange, dude, it's only fair. I still have one cricket bat that hasn't been turned into a mass of sharp stabby edges.

You're going to tell me everything you know about where Vivi is.

Because honestly, you idiots were pushing it before, breaking into our house and shit, but now I'm pissed off. You know what that means?

I hope you do, because I don't, but I'm sure it's not gonna be pretty.



Still have no idea where to start as to how to find Vivi. She could have been whisked away to Wellington or somewhere for all I know. If I see any of Tenebria's flunkies (I can vaguely remember what some of the people who jumped us yesterday looked like) I plan on interrogating them.

I've acquired all the materials I said I needed last entry. Now all I need it to rig them all together and give people a reason to fear the cricket bat. Call me a wuss, but I don't really want to shoot anyone unless I have to. Hitting them with a blunt force weapon is okay. Even if it now has lots of sharp stabby edges. And I need to figure out how to carry it around on my person without getting arrested. The gun and the pepper spray are fairly simple, the cricket bat with all the barbed wire not so much.

This is probably the first time somebody has plotted attacking someone with Eucalyptus oil.

*insert burst of manic laughter here*

Okay, I'm done. I woke up this morning and freaked out all over again because she's gone she's gone she's gone where is she

and I'm not as stable as I sound, but I'm sane enough to be at work and sane enough to be thinking seriously about a plan to get her out of there. I don't know what I'm dealing with, so I need to be Crazy Prepared for this.

Try to believe.