Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What does normal mean anyway?

I'm having trouble with the concept at the moment. Normal at the moment means hosting two ex-proxies, getting nervous when there ISN'T an Eldritch Abomination hanging around, your current girlfriend teaching you how to fight and also how to slow-dance (don't. ask.) and getting wacky notes from aforementioned Eldritch Abomination's mooks. To most people, that wouldn't be normal. I swear, if this keeps going on by the time I die (hopefully of old age, although this is looking gradually less likely as time goes on) I won't be surprised by anything. Even if Slendy suddenly shows up cosplaying Kamina.

I had another Radioactive Coffee moment today. To clarify, I daydream a lot, and when I snap out of it I tend to say some weird shit until I come fully back down to Planet Earth. When Vivi first started working here last year,  she was so excited about getting a job she enjoyed that she did everything very...energetically. So, the first day she was here, I was off with the fairies thinking about interior design (it made sense in context) when Max tapped me on the shoulder and went "Who turned her speed setting up to Eleven? She seemed normal enough at the interview." and I replied with "Radioactive coffee gave her super speed?"

So I had a similar moment today when a customer, one of our regulars, Joseph, asked me what on the menu was good and I went "Vivi and Max adher to food safety regulations at all times." which most people would be weirded out by, but Joseph has been eating here fairly regularly for ages so he just laughed and told me that I keep him young. Whatever that means.

Jeff and Cheska stayed in the apartment today, making sure we didn't get vandalised again, which was awful nice of them. Cassy has really taken a shine to them as well, more than she usually does to new people as well. I guess she has no problem with people who used to be proxies, just actual proxies since she didn't like Kaylee that much until just before she left.

The material used to deface our bathroom has been positively identified as the same stuff as what Kaylee threw up post taking the cure. Except it appears to be breathing and starts trying to get out of the tube occasionally. It's been destroyed now that we've verified what it is, because keeping something like that lying around is probably not a good idea.

Speaking of Slendy, still no sign. Vivi is making me spar with her every day before breakfast and before dinner. I'm improving, sorta, but she's been doing Karate for the past 7 years and I've only just started learning so I can't really expect to be an Instant Badass Just Add Water. It doesn't work that way. I guess I'm lucky in that I'm hardly out of shape, so if worst comes to worst I can just grab Vivi and run like the wind.

Time for dinner with Jeff and Cheska (who have discovered the awesomeness that is vegemite) and Vivi. That girl really loves cooking. She does it all day at work and then makes dinner. And she bakes sometimes. She has a book of recipies that have been PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG SULLIVAN FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS?

(...You can tell Chester's just had coffee, haven't you? Oh well. Everyone try not to die overnight, okay?)

What she said. Everyone stay safe.



  1. Slender Man really reminds me of the Anti-Spiral, though, but as cosplaying goes, I'd have him pinned for Leeron rather than Kamina.

  2. I'm going to defy you for the Evlulz.

    Why the flaming fondant fancies are you learning to slow dance?

  3. @Mauduin.

    Last year, I went to my regular LondonEXPO and there were three people cosplaying everyone's favourite anorexic executive.

    I shat a house.

  4. @Maduin: True enough. Aww man, now I'm never going to be able to take Slendy seriously ever again.

    @D'Artagan: Because I'm evil. That's why.


  5. Affably Evil, I hope. That's the only kind I pay attention to XD

    Who should really take a failed business executive with a horrible eating disorder seriously?

    Fucking kick him in the pride/ego/whatever.


  6. She was teasing me about having two left feet and I went 'Well, if you're so good at it, teach me.' It was a joke but Viv decided it was a brilliant idea so yeah.

    The more humor we have about this situation, the better. Leeron!Slendy it is.


  7. And that shall teach you to NEVER make idle comments in the vague form of a dare around Viv.

    But of course! We simply MUST Taunt Cuthulu!

  8. Gurren Lagann and FullMetal Alchemist FTW!

    Also, Chester, I hope Vivi told you.

    If you hear a slight creak of springs, or maybe a hit against the wall in the living room, it isn't a proxy.

    I think you get guess about what that is - "ahem"-

    The Keeper

  9. ...I already know. I heard a funny noise last night and went to check it out and Vivi went "no, Chester, don't, it's Jeff and Cheska doing dirty things." n_n Don't worry, you guys were pretty quiet.