about what happened yesterday. On my end. Chester doesn't remember most of what happened.
I woke up at about 2pm in a blank white cell and flipped the fuck out. I screamed, banged on the walls, panicked etc for about an hour and then realised that flipping my shit wasn't gonna do me any good. Then I think I cried for about half an hour. I said that audio post that showed up on Tenebria's tumblr around that point. Towards the end, the walls just started to rush in on me and I panicked and blacked out.
When I woke up I realised that although they'd taken most of the stuff out of my jacket pockets, they hadn't taken the marker pen. So I drew all over the walls. TRY TO BELIEVE; TRYING TO BELIEVE; BELIEVING; YOU ARE NOT ALONE; There's a light at the end of the darkness and we walk towards it hand in hand; some god-awful poetry, some song lyrics I remembered, a couple of short comic strips, quotes I'd heard or read, anything to keep me distracted. I sang until my throat hurt. I sang everything I could remember. Songs from my iPod, songs I'd heard on the radio, a couple of hymns I remembered from going to church with my grandma before she passed away (I never had a faith, but I enjoyed spending the time with her) and more besides.
I think it annoyed her, because she kept asking me to stop. She cut off my hearing, made the walls close in, made me see things and I never stopped. Not ever.
I think I slept. I dreamed about colours and lights and cut out paper stars and Chester and my friends and my family and the world as it should be.
I woke up to find Tenebria sitting in a chair, just watching me with her head tilted slightly to one side. She looks even more scruffy up close- clean, yes, but her hair's tousled, like she hasn't brushed it since forever, and she's dangerously skinny and it's a subtle distinction between her normal look of utter boredom, but she seems tired.
"You smile in your sleep. Pleasant dreams?"
"For once, yes."
"Lucky you. I haven't dreamt in a long time. Not that I can remember."
"Yes. I miss it sometimes. I have heard some people find answers dreaming."
"I'm sorry. That must be...pretty bad."
She rounded on me and then everything went numb, I couldn't feel a thing, I'm not going to describe it again. It's in the previous entry to this one. But..it felt like a loss of identity, of self. You don't realise how tactile human beings are until you lose all sensation.
I don't think she intended to make it last for as long as she did, but it took 24 hours for feeling to start to return.
I lay there, feeling sensation slowly returning, when I heard yelling and thumps and a couple of gunshots and then silence. Footsteps. Voices, just out of range of my hearing and then another gunshot.
...I was so scared that one of those gunshots might have been Chester. Trying to save me, and dying in the process.
Then there was a door. Right after the third gunshot, there was a door. I stared at it for a while, checked if it was locked (it was) and if it was indeed a door and not just part of the wall that looked like one. (as far as I would see it was)
I stared at it for what felt like years, then I think I went to sleep until the door burst open and there was Chester, covered in mud and soot and brandishing various improvised weapons. He pointed the can of mace at me and said "What did I say to you on the night of February 4th, that you've subsequently repeated back to me when Tenebria first posted in order to slap some sense into me?"
I panicked for a split second before I realised he was trying to check if it was really me, rather than Tenebria or one of her little friends masquerading as me using her abilities.
"I'm not perfect, but I'll do my damn best for you."
(We need to change our question now...)
Then we got the fuck out of there. I think Chester carried me at least part of the way. We got the the car and I looked at the warehouse I'd been in and Tenebria was standing in the doorway, grabbing onto the frame for support, one leg held slightly off the ground, staring after us.
Then we got home and passed out. We've had a little bit of proxy activity since then but nothing aggressive or confrontational. Tenebria showed up a couple of times but she didn't come beyond the fence. There's been some interesting things going on at her tumblr. Bits of backstory, her real name, blah blah blah...you people seem pretty intent on getting a Heel Face Turn out of her. Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks anyone can be redeemed. We're here for her and if she wants to open up to us she's welcome to.
I need to sleep some more...